I am listening to this fascinating Audio CD Book at the moment - there is no affiliate scheme so I get nothing for this plug. The book is called Remember The Ice – And Other Paradigm Shifts by Bob Nicoll.
I truly believe this book is a hidden gem and a must for all entrepreneurs, managers in fact any profession. The basic premise of the book is that we have become so sloppy with the way we use words, we are unable to realise the effect they are having on our communication. Bob refers to empowering and dis-empowering word choices we make all the time.
However the most interesting concept is that of ‘not’isms’. He states and I agree having tried the program for a few days that society has become desensitized to the word ‘not’ and all it’s derivatives – would not, could not, should not, will not, can not, won’t etc. In fact he goes further and says we actually reverse the meaning of what we actually want to say by inserting these words and phrases.
He gives two excellent examples, if I say ‘don’t think of the colour blue’. what colour are you thinking of? [I bet it's blue]. Secondly we say ‘wouldn’t you like an ice cream?’ to a child. Now if we break that sentence down it goes, ‘Would not you like an ice cream?’ The correct answer if the child wants an ice cream is – no. If he/she says ‘yes’ they are agreeing they would not like an ice cream. See how notty the problem is?
He explains the phenomenon by the fact we just fail to register the word ‘not’ in the sentence. So in the first example our brain hears, ‘Think of the colour blue’, and in the second example the parent thinks they are saying ‘Would you like an ice cream?’
So I have accepted the challenge to clarify my articulation and I challenge you to do the same. From now on drop all the ‘not’isms’ from your speech and written work. That’s correct cease using the word not or it’s derivatives from now on. It has had two really interesting effects for me in only two days, first I have to stop and think about what I am really trying to say, secondly when I am writing and they do creep in I have to go back delete them and actually rephrase what I do mean clearly.
So are you prepared to take the ‘drop the not’ challenge?
